


Language Barriers, Or the Lack of Thereof

by WaiiKitsune



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: M/M, Over use of full names for dramatic purposes, This is nowhere as dirty as the summary implies, Yuuri knows Russian way beforehand, slightly crackish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-13 17:46:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9134593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WaiiKitsune/pseuds/WaiiKitsune
Summary: In which Viktor Nikiforov is sweet, but also dirty, and Phichit Chulanont is the best damn friend ever (or so he thinks).(Or, "What do you mean Yuuri didn't take Russian in university? He literally has a room full of posters of Viktor-")





	

**Author's Note:**

> _Italics_ used for Russian speech; normal text for whichever common language used for communications (assumed to be English).

Viktor Nikiforov had never thought he would fall in love at all, much less _so hard_. And, watching intensely as the love of his life and _soul_ warm up in the rink, Viktor knew he would never fall for anyone like this ever again.

_“Not that I would, of course.”_ He murmured softly to himself. _“No one else would ever capture me like you ever again, Katsuki Yuuri.”_

Viktor sighed wistfully, straightening up when said man over-rotated on an axel and slammed onto the ice. Used to falling over in practices and even warm-ups, Yuuri got up instantly, flashing his rather-obviously-worried coach a slightly awkward, but still reassuring smile before continuing with his practice. Viktor couldn't help it; another sigh, half in relief and half in fondness, slipped past his lips.

_“At times, you worry me so much, I just want to tie you down and keep you with me safely in bed.”_ He smiled wryly. _“I wonder what Yuuri’s expression would be if I actually did that… I can already imagine.”_

A whistle came from beside him, and an amused voice spoke, “And you kissed Yuuri on national TV with that mouth? My poor tainted best friend…”

_‘Damn, I spoke that out loud.’_ Viktor cursed himself mentally as he turned to his right, “Don't you need to warm up, Phichit?”

“I was about to, but then I saw you muttering to yourself, so I thought I should do Yuuri a favour and make sure you were alright.” Phichit replied innocently, tapping on his ever present cellphone. “That said, I know you two are sickeningly sweet—don't get me wrong; I, and the rest of the internet, live for that—but I didn't think you could get _that_ dirty, Viktor.”

The Russian cringed. It did not go unnoticed that he had landed himself in one of the worst scenarios possible when it came to Phichit Chulanont. _‘If he somehow doesn't make it as a skater, he’d live out of blackmail alone.’_ Viktor thought, suppressing a shudder.

“It's a miracle that Yuuri’s yet to faint from your talk.” Phichit continued casually.

Viktor frowned, “Yuuri doesn't speak Russian.”

Unbeknownst to the confused man, Phichit was having one of the best times of his life. After all, he had just gotten a very interesting piece of titbit that he can potentially use to wreck some havoc. The only problem is, Yuuri would probably be so mad at him, but at the same time, the thought of BSOD-ing _the Viktor Nikiforov_ was too good to pass up. (That, and a picture of a BSOD-ing Viktor would get _so_ many likes on IG.)

There really wasn't much of a choice. At all.

“Really? Are you sure?” Phichit replied, a perfect air of innocence mixed with causality. “Because, unless the Katsuki Yuuri I know was replaced with a robot or something, I’m _pretty_ sure Yuuri took Russian in university for his linguistic credits…”

_“…What?”_ Viktor choked out. “So, all this time-?”

“He probably understood whatever dirty things you said in Russian, yep.” Phichit nodded, using all of his mental strength and resolve to stop the grin that was threatening to break out. “ _Did_ you say a lot of dirty things? I won't forgive you if you taint my best friend, you know.”

“I… uhhh…”

The great Viktor Nikiforov. Speechless.

This was the **_best_** day of Phichit’s life.

(There was also the day where Yuuri, blackout drunk, pole-danced in public _and_ pretty much dry-humped his idol, but this beat it. Marginally.)

“What’s going on…?”

While Viktor was regretting his life decisions (and Phichit was enjoying his), Katsuki Yuuri, the topic of their discussion, skated up to the rink barrier where Viktor and Phichit were, his eyes darting curiously between his coach and best friend.

“Viktor?” Yuuri called out, but no response came. “Viktor??” He tried again, but there was still no response from the Russian. By now, Phichit could no longer hold in his amusement and broke out laughing, drawing the attentions of the bystanders. “Phichit-kun, what did you do?!”

Said skater _just_ managed to snap a picture before the BSOD-ing Viktor snapped out of his stunned silence to wail, “Yuuri! You… _Russian_?”

“I’m… Japanese…?” Yuuri blinked slowly, tilting his head to the side in confusion. (If Viktor wasn't currently in the middle of a meltdown, he _swore_ he would kiss his adorably oblivious fiancé right there and then—give the world (and Phichit) more pictures to spread around.) “Are you alright, Viktor? Did you hit your head?”

_“Yuuuurrriiiiiiiii!!”_ Viktor whined, momentarily ignoring Phichit’s increasingly hysterical (and slightly maniac) laughter. _“Why didn't you tell me you know Russian?!”_

“Oh.” A faint dust of pink spread across his cheeks. “It… uhh… never came up…?”

Viktor wilted. There were really no other words that could describe it. He slumped against the rink barrier, staring blankly at the ice, Yuuri’s worried calls of his names ringing far away in the distance. To think, his own mother language and the love of his life has betrayed him so cruelly. Oh, for the first time in his life, Viktor wished he could find a hole and bury himself in it.

Deep in his meltdown, Viktor was barely aware of the conversation going on around him.

“Oi, Katsudon! What did you do this time? What the hell is wrong with him now?

“It wasn't me; it was Phichit! And speaking of which, Phichit-kun, why would you tell Viktor that?!”

“But his face… Oh my god, that was the best damn face ever… And oh my god, Yuuri! How could you not tell me all those juicy details?”

“ _PHICHIT-KUN!!_ I’m revoking your best friend privileges!!”

“What? Yuuri, nooooooo!! The internet is counting on me…!!”

“No one cares about their stupid love life! Hurry up and warm up already! I’m gonna murder you if you don't do well because of stupid Vitya!”

Yuuri looked between a fuming Yurio, mildly terrified (but still enjoying this entirely too much) Phichit, and finally, at his still catatonic Viktor, took a moment to assess the situation, then sighed, loudly and dramatically. _“Sorry, Yurio,”_ He spoke deliberately in near perfect Russian, mentally congratulating himself as he caught Viktor twitching in the corner of his vision. _“But I don't think I can compete today, given Viktor’s situation…”_

_That_ finally caught Viktor’s attention again, and the Russian snapped an arm around Yuuri’s neck, pulling the skater down. Yuuri reached out instinctively to steady himself and froze stock-still when Viktor, having positioned him right at head level, spoke.

_“Yuuriiiii…”_ Viktor drawled in a low, deep tone. _“You are going to go out there and give them an amazing performance, and then, tonight, when we get back to the hotel, we are going to have a nice, long chat about you keeping your knowledge of Russian from me. Understood?”_

_“Yes.”_ Yuuri replied breathlessly, a blush colouring his cheeks once more.

(Later, Yuuri would recall this very moment and decide that, _yes_ , it was probably this exact moment that he possibly developed a voice kink.)

* * *

**_Bonus._ **

* * *

> ♥ 7, 227 likes
> 
> **phichit+chu** tfw your parents are embarrassing af @yuri-plisetsky
> 
> view all 16 comments
> 
> **yuri-plisetsky** who the hell are you calling my parents?!
> 
> **katsuki-yuuri** we’re not even married yet!
> 
> **yuri-plisetsky** @katsuki-yuuri is that really the problem here?!
> 
> **v-nikiforov** @yuri-plisetsky don't be rude to your mom
> 
> **v-nikiforov** @katsuki-yuuri that’s a problem we can solve easily~
> 
> **katsuki-yuuri** @v-nikiforov б(//x//)
> 
> **phichit+chu** @v-nikiforov @katsuki-yuuri #OTP
> 
> 13 HOURS AGO

 

> ♥ 5, 018 likes
> 
> **phichit+chu** beat @v-nikiforov without even getting on the ice! xP
> 
> **katsuki-yuuri** Best friend privileges, Phichit-kun. Revoked.
> 
> **phichit+chu** @katsuki-yuuri ｡ﾟ(*´□`)ﾟ｡
> 
> 14 HOURS AGO

**Author's Note:**

> I opened Instagram for the first time in forever to write a fic. What.


End file.
